(Sorry for the double-post; I posted accidentally non-anonymously.)
I'm a female programmer. I've been in industry for about a decade, but I've been a math/science nerd my whole life and I grew up in a family steeped in tech.
The people who have already commented have done a better job of covering the space than I feel capable of, this year, so I'm going to go on a slight tangent. I don't know if this has been brought up already, because reading the comments was bringing up too many negative emotions for me to finish, but I want to make sure someone says it.
Support will make a big difference in whatever path she chooses. Lots of modern sexism revolves around deniability and brushing things off as "no big deal". Having people on her side who believe her when she says "John was being an ass today because I have boobs." or "I can't tell if they didn't hire me because they were looking for someone with more database experience or because I'm female." or when something's hitting her that's too subtle for her to tease out and explain and defend in the face of someone else's disbelief -- that's gold.
It's likely that she will see sexism in places you don't. It's also likely that she'll go through at least one period of ranting about men or boys in a way that will upset you. Be on her side anyway.
Make sure there are middle-aged and older women in her life who are good role models in various (tech or non-tech) ways. Let her know that competency and wonderfulness don't just belong to males and a few token pretty girls.
Above all, though, be on her side, even when it's hard or complicated for you to do so. She needs that bone-deep knowledge that there's someone who thinks she's kick-ass, without any "for a girl" or "and really hot!" attached. She especially needs it if she's going to live in these particular shark-infested waters.
no subject
I'm a female programmer. I've been in industry for about a decade, but I've been a math/science nerd my whole life and I grew up in a family steeped in tech.
The people who have already commented have done a better job of covering the space than I feel capable of, this year, so I'm going to go on a slight tangent. I don't know if this has been brought up already, because reading the comments was bringing up too many negative emotions for me to finish, but I want to make sure someone says it.
Support will make a big difference in whatever path she chooses. Lots of modern sexism revolves around deniability and brushing things off as "no big deal". Having people on her side who believe her when she says "John was being an ass today because I have boobs." or "I can't tell if they didn't hire me because they were looking for someone with more database experience or because I'm female." or when something's hitting her that's too subtle for her to tease out and explain and defend in the face of someone else's disbelief -- that's gold.
It's likely that she will see sexism in places you don't. It's also likely that she'll go through at least one period of ranting about men or boys in a way that will upset you. Be on her side anyway.
Make sure there are middle-aged and older women in her life who are good role models in various (tech or non-tech) ways. Let her know that competency and wonderfulness don't just belong to males and a few token pretty girls.
Above all, though, be on her side, even when it's hard or complicated for you to do so. She needs that bone-deep knowledge that there's someone who thinks she's kick-ass, without any "for a girl" or "and really hot!" attached. She especially needs it if she's going to live in these particular shark-infested waters.