I actually, upon reflection, think it's important to say something else here.
I've been speaking about how I would or would not encourage, and how I might explain things to, another adult.
What I might encourage or discourage in a child is a very different thing. Someone else mentioned ignoring their parents trying to discourage them from places they might not fit in. My parents generally didn't discourage me, quite the opposite. I think this was terribly important - and has little to do with what most of us are saying. As parents, your job is to give your child the confidence to fly, anywhere she wants to. I have that, and it's one of the things I wouldn't give up for the world. I have a lot of friends who didn't get that from their parents, and have struggled with making up for that lack.
Speaking to Shanna frankly about sexism when she's old enough - sure, of course. Explaining that some fields might be more struggle and heartache then they're worth, again, once she's older, yes, that's kind and reasonable and all of those things. But as a child, give her the confidence that she can do anything she wants to, because she's smart and strong and determined. Give her the resources to learn anything she's interested in. You know these things, you're already doing it. Don't let our bad experiences change that - just keep them in mind later, to be sure she has all the information when making real world decisions.
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Date: 2010-06-02 06:27 pm (UTC)I've been speaking about how I would or would not encourage, and how I might explain things to, another adult.
What I might encourage or discourage in a child is a very different thing. Someone else mentioned ignoring their parents trying to discourage them from places they might not fit in. My parents generally didn't discourage me, quite the opposite. I think this was terribly important - and has little to do with what most of us are saying. As parents, your job is to give your child the confidence to fly, anywhere she wants to. I have that, and it's one of the things I wouldn't give up for the world. I have a lot of friends who didn't get that from their parents, and have struggled with making up for that lack.
Speaking to Shanna frankly about sexism when she's old enough - sure, of course. Explaining that some fields might be more struggle and heartache then they're worth, again, once she's older, yes, that's kind and reasonable and all of those things. But as a child, give her the confidence that she can do anything she wants to, because she's smart and strong and determined. Give her the resources to learn anything she's interested in. You know these things, you're already doing it. Don't let our bad experiences change that - just keep them in mind later, to be sure she has all the information when making real world decisions.