Brezsny and Ponderings

It's Wednesday, huh? When I remember, which is rarely these days, that means Brezsny. To the Gemini, he says this of the new year:

Freud said that among all human endeavors, there were three "impossible professions" that inevitably yielded unsatisfying results. They were child-rearing, the governing of nations, and psychoanalysis. My own experiences don't entirely confirm this. My parents raised me pretty well and I've given my daughter a decent upbringing. Of the nine psychotherapists I've consulted in my life, two were excellent healers and none were damaging. But even those relatively winning projects were sometimes fraught with unsolvable riddles, chronic frustrations, and maddening uncertainties. I bring this up, Gemini, because I think 2011 will be a time when you will generate far more gratification and success than usual in your own versions of "impossible professions." Unsolvable riddles, chronic frustrations, and maddening uncertainties won't be completely absent, but they could very well be at an all-time low.

I can't complain about my child-rearing experience. But Freud, like everybody, moans about his own work, so I can moan about mine. I'll do that.

My impossible profession is the advancement of information movement and storage in the world, along with all the other fun tricks and benefits computers can bring you. It's a big profession, like other kinds of engineering, and my own personal contribution is necessarily modest. One guy can only do so much -- though he can do a lot more now than when I started a couple of decades ago.

I eventually got tired of being a cog, deep in a machine that required a lot of cogs to run. I'm now capable of running my own little machines and/or being one of a much smaller number of cogs while still doing interesting projects. I'm also enjoying being able to put up things people can use.

I can always use more gratification and success, though actually I've done quite well in 2010, all things considered. Several interesting projects started, a couple brought to usefulness, several more reworked. All in addition to my job, of course.

My maddening uncertainties are, at this point, all about picking a direction to go in. My opportunities keep getting better, often dramatically so, and they weren't bad to begin with. Now, how do I avoid throwing them all away for nothing? ;-)

More Brezsny, more pondering

And to my moon sign, Leo, Brezsny says:

The coming year will be a time to think big -- maybe even bigger than you've dared to think in over a decade. That doesn't mean you should be rash, reckless, or unrealistic. On the contrary. Your expansive dreams should be carefully wrought and anchored in a detailed understanding of how things actually work. As an example of what not to do, learn from Snoop Dogg. The rapper wanted to rent all 62 square miles of the small European nation of Liechtenstein so he could film his music video there. Liechtenstein authorities turned him down, but only because his team didn't ask far enough in advance. Had he been better organized, the whole country could have been his.

I'm not sure what I should be doing that involves renting Liechtenstein, but now I want to throw a 62-square-mile party.

But to continue that last post, I have to find some dreams in order to plan them. Or more specifically, I have to choose them from among various uncertain options.

"Even bigger than I've dared to think in over a decade" certainly hits home. I spent a decade recently building other people's stuff and not getting much of my own done. And then I spent a year working here at On-Site (which is a fine company, good coworkers and so on) primarily to get experience for whatever comes next.

So what comes next? I mean, I'm good at this. I have real experience. I'm starting to become known, more or less despite myself.

But what comes next?

Maybe I should sit by myself in a room until I can come up with some answer that seems more awesome than "a party the size of Liechtenstein." Because you know, I'm not sure I can.

[Note: according to quick calculations and hearsay pricing, renting Liechtenstein would cost about $14 million for the day. Krissy is far too sensible to ever let me spend that on a party. Don't get your hopes up *too* far.]

And randomly...

I usually suck at networking. That is, I suck at socializing with people in a professional-ish and/or shop-talk setting when I need something from them and/or have something to offer them. I'm traditionally awkward at that.

The universe has recently provided many opportunities for both practicing this skill and many choices for me to decide between that all look pretty good. This *also* helps the skills I need for networking.

Lately, in fact, the universe has been providing a remarkable profusion of the opportunities I need to get better at the stuff I suck at.

Thank you, universe!